"Unix man(1)"
[To the tune of the Beatles "Nowhere Man"]

He's a real UNIX man(1)
Sitting in his UNIX LAN
Making all his UNIX plans
For nobody.
Knows the blocksize from du(1)
Cares not where /dev/null goes to
Isn't he a bit like you
And me?

UNIX man(1), please listen(2)
My lpd(8) is missin'
UNIX man(1)
The wo-o-o-orld is at(1) your command.

He's as wise as he can be
Uses lex and yacc and C
UNIX man(1), can you help me
at all?

UNIX man(1), don't worry
Test with time(1), don't hurry
UNIX man(1)
The new kernel boots, just like you had planned.

He's a real UNIX man(1)
Sitting in his UNIX LAN
Making all his UNIX plans for nobody ...
Making all his UNIX plans for nobody.